The alarm went off at 2:45 am this morning…oh man that was early! I got ready and checked my suitcase one more time to make sure I had it all and then Debo, Bear (our dog), and I headed off to the airport.
Currently I’m sitting in the airport in Miami. I’ve been here for 2 hours and still have 2 more hours to go! I slept a little bit on the plane, but I usually need 8-10 hours of sleep to function properly and the 4 hours last night and 1 hour on the plane just wasn’t cutting it. So I found me an empty chair and curled up with my backpack with my neck pillow on top and have slept for the past hour and a half. Thankfully I’m blessed with the ability to sleep in most any places. My back is not too happy with me at the moment though for the position that I’ve been sleeping!
In about 4 hours I will finally be in Haiti! I went to bed last night with a queasy stomach…thankfully it was just nerves and not that nasty bug coming back to mess up my trip again.
All these crazy fears kept creeping into my mind as I tried to close my eyes and go to sleep. Crazy enough most of them had to do with death…I don’t mean to be morbid. All my thoughts were about what if something happened to me while I’m gone? What if something happened to mom or Bubba while I’m gone? What if something happened to my grandparents? I started getting really anxious.
I can’t remember if I would think those things before leaving the country before my dad passed away or if this new fear of death before a mission trip has to do with having lost someone. The pain of losing someone is so real to me now like never before and sometimes that fear takes over and its all my mind can think about.
So I ran and got my devotional out real quick to see what it said for the day. And here was the first sentence…
“Anxiety is a result of envisioning the future without Me.”
And then went on to say…
“Remember the promise of My continual Presence; include Me in any imagery that comes to mind.”
So true! The reason I was so freaked out was because I was envisioning all these awful things that could happen, but I was forgetting to remember that even if those were to happen that the Lord would still be right there with me through the pain.
I finally fell asleep and the last thing I remembered was praying for the Lord to calm my heart and remind me that He has already gone before me and paved the way for me to go on this trip. He has given me everything I need for this week and anything that may come my way this week. He has promised to hold my hand every step of the way. He is my Father and I push all my insecurities away and know that I am the little girl of the Creator of the World.
Alright I’m off to find something to eat before my flight…more once I get there!
PS...my devotional is amazing for anyone who wants to know! It's called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young.
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