Bye-Bye

Well today is the day that we leave for Uganda!  I had hoped to sleep in, but woke up a little too excited to sleep in too late.  I’ve already run my errands, watched a little reruns of Beverly Hills 90210, and finalized my packing.  I just need to take a shower, call my mom and granny, and then I’ll be all set.

Sometimes I get a little nervous or sad when it’s time to leave for a trip like this especially since its longer than just a week or two.  Today is different though…I’m just so excited!  I can’t even figure out what is making leaving for this trip so different.

While I am so excited and not upset at telling people good-bye, there is something that I’m having to say to leave behind that I’ve been dreading for awhile now.

This was my mom’s wedding ring from my dad.  When they got divorced he kept it.  All growing up he always told me he had saved the ring for me and that it was mine whenever I wanted it.  Naturally I assumed that since it was bought in the 80’s that it would be ugly and I wouldn’t necessarily want to wear it.

The day before he passed away I was at his house and accidentally found it.  Imagine my surprise when it is actually GORGEOUS!  I put it on immediately and there hasn’t been a day since then that I haven’t worn it…almost two years. 

There was even a day shortly after he passed away when I was driving to work and realized that I had forgotten to put it on.  I panicked, started crying, and then drove all the way home to get it before school.

They’ve suggested that we not take any valuable jewelry with us to Uganda just to be safe.  Seeing as how this is the most valuable thing that I own, I’ve decided to leave it at home.

So for the first time in almost two years I won’t be wearing my dad’s ring.  I realize that its just a piece of jewelry and it shouldn’t be that hard, but it is.  I get choked up just thinking about it.

Anytime I look down and see that ring I think of my dad…it’s a constant reminder.  And seeing as how I’m terrified that I’ll start to forget him, this ring helps. 

Also the two year anniversary of losing him will happen while I’m gone and I won’t have this ring.

I know it’s a good thing for me to leave the ring behind.  I shouldn’t be so attached to something this way.  Like so many of the other firsts I’ve endured since losing dad, this will hurt immensely but I will survive.

I still can’t believe that it has been 2 years since dad passed away.  Two years later and its still as surreal as it was when it was happening.

I was supposed to go to Uganda in July, but due to some bombings it was postponed.  I believe this was just part of God’s bigger plan.  I’m sure there are lots of reasons why He thought it better for the whole team to go in November rather than July.  It seems so fitting that this trip will now come during one of the toughest months for me.

Right after dad died my college BSM Director, Shawn Shannon, gave me a devotional that I used daily for the first year.  One the one year anniversary, November 26, this is what the devotional said,

“When God takes away that which He has given you, He knows well how to replace it, either through other means or by Himself.” – Fenelon

God decided in November to take away something extremely precious to me, but I trust that He is faithful to take care of His children.  So now I wait to see what the Lord will do next and more importantly what God will do this November.