Throughout my life I’ve had a love/hate relationship with cuss words. I’m pretty sure I was that kid in elementary school who knew all the cuss words and would use them from time to time because let’s be honest…Haston parents in the beginning years didn’t make the best choices around their kids. But lucky for them I was a goody two shoes and never would say them for fear I would get a conduct mark which in my eyes meant you were going straight to hell…oops cussing already!
Then I remember being in sixth grade and cussing like a sailor. And I honestly have absolutely no idea why! But man do I remember cussing all the time and even using the “F” word!!
Well then I met good ol’ Jesus and became a Super Christian for several years. You know what I’m talking about. Super Christians think everything is bad and judge others for doing them. I could have won a medal in Super Christian Olympics. I would never have said a cuss word because that was awful and shameful. I even remember arguing with Michelle because for some reason she thought the word bastard was not a cuss word and a perfectly okay word to use in conversation! I, of course, would just go home and pray for her.
My senior year of college I really began to think about what I believed and why. I asked a lot of questions and searched a lot of scripture. I determined that most of the things I believed were truth, but became aware of a few things that I had believed were bad but more on the basis because someone said they were rather than me learning it from scripture.
After a few years of starting to own my faith and growing up, I began to view cussing differently. I realized that its not so much the word, but the meaning and feelings behind them. For example me saying, “Oh shit!” when I drop something is exactly the same as old Super Christian me saying, “Oh shoot!” I meant the same thing both times. It’s just somehow in our history those certain words have been deemed bad by society.
So today if you know me well you know that I don’t mind cuss words all that much. I will be honest and admit that there are times when I find that they are becoming too much a big part of my vocabulary and I need to be careful so that they don’t slip out at the wrong time. For while I don’t necessarily think anything is evil about them, I realize I live in a world where you can’t just use them at any time you want.
My favorite thing to do though is to use a cuss word around Debo because she still gets that “Oh my gosh, Christy just cussed!” look on her face…she’s having a hard time letting go of her Super Christian Christy.
Oh and if you’re ever riding in the car with me and we pass someone driving whilst smoking do not be alarmed because I will for sure yell out, “Smoke it up Bitch!” And I haven’t decided whether its good or bad that Cobb now does the same thing.
With all that said, I still hate the F word. I mean HATE it! I won’t even bring myself to say it in my mind when I’m reading silently to myself. I see it and in my head automatically replaces it by just reading “F” and then going on.
All that to say, I’m noticing lately that there are several times that I really, really want to say that word.
Things That Make Me Want To Say the F Word:
1. When my ipod sounds all staticky because Houston has the most awful stations
2. When I can’t get the lid off the new pickle jar
3. When I’m exiting onto I10 and everyone and their dog wait until the last possible moment to get on the off ramp
If you notice 2 out of the 3 have to do with living in Houston. Those were never issues when I had a Dallas zipcode. I’m just sayin’!
So I may let the cuss words flow without a second thought, but that F word is still staying locked up. No promises though if this time next year I’m still living in Htown!
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