When you think of one year, it doesn’t seem all that long. However, so much can happen and change in just 365 days.
Christmas Eve Candlelight Service 2010
Christmas Eve Candlelight Service 2011
Last year the four of us got to read the scripture verses at the Candlelight service, which I’d been begging to do for years. It’s crazy to think that we had no idea it would be Mark’s last Christmas with us.
Just last night mom was talking about Mark and I started crying and posed the question, “Don’t you ever just think this isn’t how life was supposed to turn out?”
I never imagined I’d only have 25 Christmases with my dad. Mom shouldn’t have to sit through the Candlelight service fighting back tears. She shouldn’t have had to bury both her husbands. These and so many other things were never as I had imagined or hoped would be a part of my life.
Then tonight as I sat through the service we were singing and it struck me that Mary may have had those same thoughts at one point. I’m sure she never imagined being the girl who became pregnant before being married. I bet she never dreamed as a little girl that she would deliver her first child in a stable.
However, it didn’t take her long to realize that by allowing her life to be written by the Lord, how much truly greater it would be. The Lord showed her firsthand that when He writes the story it ends up being far more amazing than she could have ever dreamed up.
I needed that reminder tonight.
Because this isn’t how I would have written my story. If I was in charge my dad and Mark would still be here and we would be having our Christmas celebrations just like we’ve always done in the years past. If I was allowed to write it, I would have ridden to church with my handsome, funny, Jesus lovin’ husband while we dreamed of the children we would adopt in the coming years.
Mary’s story turned out to be one of the most incredible stories and with the hope of the world being formed in her tummy. All that came from trusting the Lord with the pen.
I struggle quite frequently with trusting the Lord. However, I’m thankful tonight for the reminder that God is up to something amazing in my life, even when it’s not looking like how I envisioned it.
So while our picture this year looks much different than last years…who knows how it will change in just another 365 years!
On another note, a few funny things to mention…
1. Dr. Lyles came to light my candle for our row and I somehow managed to extinguish the flame on his Jesus candle.
2. Mom mentioned that the raising of the candle during “Silent Night” was always Mark’s favorite part because he would try to raise his candle as high as he could. So when it came time for us to raise our candles, Clay and I both tried to raise them as high as we could. Which resulted in Clay whispering, “Mine’s higher!” and mom and I trying to silence our giggles…which only made us laugh harder.
3. If you look closely, Debo is wearing the same shirt in 2010 and 2011.
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